Listen to Them Talk

"Got held up at gunpoint...(brings it up out of nowhere)... he held me up... (to a woman a few tables away from mine)... the dude was a total amateur... people around where I live usually carry guns... the guy pretended like he was deaf but I could tell that he was pretending... (and goes on about it)... but that kind of shit doesn't bother me... I've been held up since I was 14 y.o. (sic, !!!)... I don't even get phased by it anymore... so afterwards I just went back to doing what I was doing... like nothing happened... it didn't bother me... I was trying to get laid... I just texted the guy I was trying to fuck and I was like 'I just got held up at gunpoint do you still want to come over'... (and it's obvious that this shit does phase her)... got held up... at gunpoint... (and that it scared the shit out of her)... gun... (like it should have; like it should feel to anyone after that situation)... pointed at me... (but why act so cool? funny defense mechanism for avoiding the totally natural response of scared shitlessness that should occur in a person post situation of that sort)... the guy didn't get anything... (and it makes me wonder about coolness, sangfroid, or the affectation of)... like, 57 cents, a pack of gum and a band new lighter... (this forced forward image of total comfort and experience in the situation described, the situation described with an obsession that betrays a trembling, the trembling what pushes forward this face of coolness, the face of coolness the only way that the trembling knows how to show itself)... gun in my face, I'm totally used to it, did I tell you... (and about this coolness, and there are lots of people with a coolness, it seems to work pretty well as a mechanism, and is coolness a device for everybody, an unwavering face for the trembling hand of worry that hides itself beneath it, the face the only way for a terrified and afraid voice to yell for help and for comfort from fears and anxiety and trouble)... well and yeah I gotta go now... (and how many of the cool are out there right now crying for someone to notice their trouble and wanting help underneath from anybody, but anybody can see the face of an untouchable, somebody above feeling, and would they be better it they could speak, and do they need help when you can spot vaguely and human emotionally disturbed person behind the apathy and should you help them?)"