Non/Belief

I have found it necessary at times to create absurd conspiracies in order to believe the incredible. For instance, once I was walking across a particularly nasty stretch of Texas scrub land, all sharp rocks, vertiginous rises and unfriendly succulents. No way, I thought, there is no way that people in settled wagons drove across this land and then made cities on it. It must have been done some other way. I then proceeded with my creative search for an alternative truth. They were flown out to california in airplanes, or the United States was always here, and all of history was a carefully concocted lie to fill us with myths and substances of past. These were the alternatives, and in a way, they seemed more convincing than the brutal truth which was always known to me. Convincing because they were the genius of my own imagining, as well as because they were created with a pin of logic that was sharp against all angles towards itself. Eventually those absurd imaginings fell in on themselves. They couldn't stand the push of reality for more than a day or so and I succumbed to the realization that these hard lands were traversed by determination, that the desire for a plot of your own land was enough to make the thousands do the unbelievable. And after doubting it I finally became aware of what an accomplishment it was, and how it is something that very well may not have happened because the odds of that were so great. It is through disbelief that we can find the incredible.

Kierkegaard tells us that true belief can only be found on the strength of the absurd. That is, through logic we find nothing but skepticism, but for a true conviction, we must deny logic, and accept that one thing is beyond all evidence to the contrary. I think that is what I am getting at here. An absolute incredulity is necessary for understanding the really wonderful things in life. It must be formulated into our perceptions in order for us to maintain a sense of wonder about the world. For what is wonder but that magical sense of unreality. When you see a waterfall what are the phrases that come to mind, "I can't believe it," or "oh my god." Both expressions signal the outer-worldly, we beg for rationalization that can't be found in our current reality because wonder is an expression of unreality.

Back to my point. The cultivation of disbelief can help us get a better grasp on our sense of wonderment. An act of disbelief is an assertion of personal logic. The, "I believe," of "from my personal account of knowledge I assert that X can not be true." Allowing that logic to fall in on itself, realizing that it is wrong is humbling. Admitting that there are some things in this world that are beyond the grasp of your understanding. That is the most wonderful thing of all.

(take that Vienna Circle)